Dear Miss Lisa,
According to relationship experts, I'm a dumb-ass.
I need a MatchMaker! Only someone with a strong personality need apply to take
charge of my love life. I have listed below my requirements:
1 - I am looking for someone to sweep me off my feet that has enough money to support themselves and me in the manner to which I am accustomed. I know that's not realistic, I DON'T CARE. You won't change my mind, so give it up.
2 - I am looking for a professional. Not a professional pool shark, not a professional cad or gigolo, but someone that works in an office all day and does nothing but dream of when they can see me again and how they can impress me that day. If you don't get the total picture, see #1 above.
3 - I am looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. RightNow.
2 - I am looking for a professional. Not a professional pool shark, not a professional cad or gigolo, but someone that works in an office all day and does nothing but dream of when they can see me again and how they can impress me that day. If you don't get the total picture, see #1 above.
3 - I am looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. RightNow.
4 - I am looking for someone that is willing to move here to this dinky town in the middle of BFE and like it. No complaining to me about it unless the cure is to fly somewhere exotic for the weekend.
5 - I am looking for someone that my grown children and family will like and respect. If they can't pass the muster, they're "outta here".
6 - I am not looking for George Clooney or Brad Pitt, those two were disasters and taught me that I should be looking at their heart and mind and not what makes me look good. Okay, okay, I'm not totally convinced that George or Brad aren't out there but I certainly don't want the man to be prettier than me, capeesh?
Signed,
SickAndTiredOfWierd
Dear YourEgoIsLargerThanMine,
5 - I am looking for someone that my grown children and family will like and respect. If they can't pass the muster, they're "outta here".
6 - I am not looking for George Clooney or Brad Pitt, those two were disasters and taught me that I should be looking at their heart and mind and not what makes me look good. Okay, okay, I'm not totally convinced that George or Brad aren't out there but I certainly don't want the man to be prettier than me, capeesh?
Signed,
SickAndTiredOfWierd
Dear YourEgoIsLargerThanMine,
Wow. The first thing you need to do is get off your high-horse and get your ego in check. It's hard enough to find your knight in shining armor without you scaring the hell out of him. Sheesh. I hope your profile on the dating sites isn't this scary.
There are plenty of matchmakers if you look online. If you live in a small town then it's a problem, for sure. If you are willing to drive/fly to a larger town then you will find you have more options. The good matchmakers I've seen online are professionals with a staff to help them build up their portfolio of desirable men. But be prepared, it's costly. And by that, I mean you could spend over $1,000.00! Personally, I'd rather spend that money on purses to feed my addiction but that's just me...
Don't give up! Take a hard look at your online profile on the dating sites. Does it need to be updated? Do you come across as too sarcastic or judgemental? There are even support staff on most of the sites that will, when asked, look over your profile and offer help and suggestions to get you the most bang for your buck.
Good luck in your search and let me know if you decided to go with a matchmaker or not, inquiring minds want to know!
There are plenty of matchmakers if you look online. If you live in a small town then it's a problem, for sure. If you are willing to drive/fly to a larger town then you will find you have more options. The good matchmakers I've seen online are professionals with a staff to help them build up their portfolio of desirable men. But be prepared, it's costly. And by that, I mean you could spend over $1,000.00! Personally, I'd rather spend that money on purses to feed my addiction but that's just me...
Don't give up! Take a hard look at your online profile on the dating sites. Does it need to be updated? Do you come across as too sarcastic or judgemental? There are even support staff on most of the sites that will, when asked, look over your profile and offer help and suggestions to get you the most bang for your buck.
Good luck in your search and let me know if you decided to go with a matchmaker or not, inquiring minds want to know!
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