First Date Franny

Dear Miss Lisa,

I have now had my first actual date and holy stalker, I dodged a bullet there!

I now have additional requirements to my search criteria.

Besides spelling and grammar (and I can forgive the odd typo), new rules are as follows:

• profile pics should not include cars and or motorcycles - penis extension much?

• show a friend before posting a pic - they will let you know if you're rocking the serial killer look...and so many of them are

• don't talk about happily ever after on the first date, or soul mates, or falling in love. That shit is scary

Oh and if you have any deal breakers in your head, they are there for a reason!!

Onward and upward!

Sincerely,

First Date Franny

Dear First Date Franny The Survivor,

First off, let me say congratulations on surviving your first date! That itself is a major feat. We all know the fear and trepidation that is experienced before that first meet up, so pat yourself on the back for surviving that major milestone. Keeping a list of what you have learned on dates shows maturity and a keen intelligence, I commend you for that.

I shall add your list to the one I keep for the book I am writing.  I hope everyone jots these down, they are important to remember, first date or not!  Now keep up the good work, we all have to kiss a lot of toads before we find that special one that doesn't leave us with warts...

Texting To Sexting?

Dear Miss Lisa,

HELP!
How hard does dating have to be?!?!  I get sweet flirty messages from a guy I know, no asking for a date, just a couple of sweet texts.  I get tired of just texting and want a real date, so I ask if we're going to keep flirting or go on an actual date?  Or is he even interested in dating me?  Then, I get this odd response from him.  Oy vey, hold on...

Him - "You looked hot the other day in you skin tight clothes.  I have been out of the loop dating after getting a divorce and don't want the head games that go along with it.  I would love to see you naked laying in front of me and not knowing what to do next.  And yes I am a horny guy and you sparked my interest.  That should scare you away.??"

Me - (Thinking out loud)  Really?!?!  Okay, you did, you scared me away, not a problem!!!
I text him - "Oh my, guess you only had to say that you weren't interested in dating now.  But you got your point across."
Now he thinks I read that wrong, stating in his next text why he believes I read it wrong...
Please read this and help me or smack me!

His reply - "I believe you misunderstood my point.  I haven't dated in awhile and don't know where to start was the point.  The naked comment was to find your point of view and dialog on sex, also a complement.  I believe life is short and talk very open and be able to joke around a lot.  It seems we have different communication styles so sorry if you took any part negative.  I can still say you looked fine the other mourning without being a pervert."

Is it odd that his typos are more annoying to me than his lack of manners?  I so want to text him back, but what's the point now, except to give him links to Craigslist personal ads!  Is it a wonder why we hate dating?  Seriously, it went from a sweet flirty text to immediately talking about me being nude?!?!

Signed,
Texting To Sexting

Dear TextSextTish,

This is more common than you would think.  He states his view plainly (which I have used BOLD for ease of reading).   Some men can't even explain why their conversations go to the bedroom so quickly but your man did, so consider yourself lucky for the explanation.

I have a couple of thoughts on why this went sour so quickly.  Men like to take the lead and you took it away from him by asking if he was interested in dating in the first place.  It goes back to the Neanderthal days but luckily guys aren't hitting us over the head and dragging us back to the cave anymore.  Let the guy do the asking - it's that simple.  Yes, there are exceptions such as Sadie Hawkins dances but no one even has those anymore, do they?

As soon as his texting went naked, I would have texted back "This isn't going where I thought it would go, so I've changed my mind.  Please don't communicate with me anymore.  I hope you'll respect my wishes.  Good luck in your search for love."  This ends the conversation.  If you aren't opposed to continuing the sexting, that is your choice but will it ever really go anywhere decent?

Now obviously you might feel silly since you were the one that initiated the 'dating' part of the conversation and I have no idea what the previous texts were, but we all learn from our mistakes, right?  If he's someone you knew previously, then trust me when I say that he will have a new respect for you and maybe will be slower to start a "nude" conversation with the next girl, right?

Now go put your phone away for the night, take a hot bath and play some music, LOUD.  It always helps to make a fresh start and look forward to the next time you meet someone.  You never know, he could be the one if you'll let him do the asking!