Dear Readers,
ODE TO THE DATING SITES
by Lisa Buchanan
There once was a foul man named "***wipe",
the pic of his bike made us laugh,
imagine his chaps and his thong done in black,
with Lisa dolled up in the back!
There was a strange man who was gruesome,
he wanted to do a fun threesome,
a man two girls date, to me that was great,
if he would allow me to whip him?
There was a short rooster who's nameless,
he called her a 'prize' so he said,
the bike that he's riding he couldn't keep hiding,
the sheriff wants it back or he's dead!
There once was a kilted French Cajun,
whose prose sounded like he was ragin',
he's anti-kill Bambi or Rudolph, that's fine,
I don't think I'll be misbehaving!
A gun-toting guy in Afghanistan,
who had a nice boat he made clear,
submissive at bedtime was all that he asked.
Are handcuffs the norm here? Oh dear...
In Idaho there was a fine cowboy,
his rodeo voice known far and wide,
the riding and roping are fun so they say,
but he wants center stage, not a bride.
There was a Marine that's a General,
his prose sounded girly and kewl,
I thought "finally, hot damn!" but Dad said "it's a scam",
so I'm back to the dating site ghouls.
I met an old man for some dinner,
he sounded so nice on the phone,
but when we departed, I became so fainthearted,
his talking so much made me groan.
I chastised him about all his talking,
then told him to just keep on walking,
he wrote back and said that I helped his big head,
now he's dating again, girls are flocking!
There once was a man that appeared naked,
he said "you are well kept", it's true.
He makes the gun guy look much better than ever,
but naked man doesn't have a clue.
A tall hobbit approached me to write him,
in Renaissance attire with a kilt,
his lily white legs and his earrings all dangly,
I passed him right by with no guilt!
I wanted to find a new partner,
a man who is dashing and smart,
but now that I've seen all the yahoos and schmucks,
I think they're all old flabby farts!
Over the years I have had great fun coming up with little ditties about the fun and fiascoes of my dating life. While some of my dates have been wonderful men, the old adage about having to 'kiss a lot of toads' before finding your future mate is true. For your perusal, here is a collection of verses I have written that I call "Ode To The Dating Sites". I hope you enjoy it!
ODE TO THE DATING SITES
by Lisa Buchanan
There once was a foul man named "***wipe",
the pic of his bike made us laugh,
imagine his chaps and his thong done in black,
with Lisa dolled up in the back!
There was a strange man who was gruesome,
he wanted to do a fun threesome,
a man two girls date, to me that was great,
if he would allow me to whip him?
There was a short rooster who's nameless,
he called her a 'prize' so he said,
the bike that he's riding he couldn't keep hiding,
the sheriff wants it back or he's dead!
There once was a kilted French Cajun,
whose prose sounded like he was ragin',
he's anti-kill Bambi or Rudolph, that's fine,
I don't think I'll be misbehaving!
A gun-toting guy in Afghanistan,
who had a nice boat he made clear,
submissive at bedtime was all that he asked.
Are handcuffs the norm here? Oh dear...
In Idaho there was a fine cowboy,
his rodeo voice known far and wide,
the riding and roping are fun so they say,
but he wants center stage, not a bride.
There was a Marine that's a General,
his prose sounded girly and kewl,
I thought "finally, hot damn!" but Dad said "it's a scam",
so I'm back to the dating site ghouls.
I met an old man for some dinner,
he sounded so nice on the phone,
but when we departed, I became so fainthearted,
his talking so much made me groan.
I chastised him about all his talking,
then told him to just keep on walking,
he wrote back and said that I helped his big head,
now he's dating again, girls are flocking!
There once was a man that appeared naked,
he said "you are well kept", it's true.
He makes the gun guy look much better than ever,
but naked man doesn't have a clue.
A tall hobbit approached me to write him,
in Renaissance attire with a kilt,
his lily white legs and his earrings all dangly,
I passed him right by with no guilt!
I wanted to find a new partner,
a man who is dashing and smart,
but now that I've seen all the yahoos and schmucks,
I think they're all old flabby farts!
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